Pros & Cons of Dating a Girl With a Discount Code in Her Instagram Bio
I should start this off by disclosing that I’ve never dated a girl with a discount code in her Instagram bio, nor do I intend to. The following cost-benefit analysis is merely a hypothetical thought experiment. Although in some instances, it may determine whether the reader decides to (digitally) approach a fit chick with a clever DM, like:
“Keep grinding 💪”
“I see you 👀”
Now, before we dive into the pros and cons of code-bearing fit chicks, we need to establish some context: Per the official rules of social media popularity, you are officially bestowed with the title “influencer” the very second you copy and paste a custom discount code and/or link in your Instagram bio. See below for reference:
One would have to assume that receiving a code from a brand must evoke the same emotional rush as when a law student earns their J.D. or when a toddler earns a gold star for pooping in the toilet. You made it.
Remember: follower counts DON’T MATTER. Not a single bit. It’s entirely plausible to have, say, 382 followers and still shift the paradigm of modern consumer psychology and lifestyle trends with your assorted powders, leggings, etc. You are, after all, an influencer.
Astonishingly, “Instagram influencer” did not crack Tinder’s top 15 most-swiped-right jobs for women, trailing bartenders and flight attendants. (To clarify, “Instagram influencer with discount code also failed to crack the top 15). Fortunately, yours truly created this pro/con list to help you decide whether or not the girl with the code is the girl for you.
PRO: Being able to tell your pals that you’re dating an influencer
CON: Having to explain to your parents what an influencer is
OTHER CON: Confronting the high probability that she’s not influencing anything besides her own narcissism
PRO: Discounts! Like, so many discounts.
CON: Realizing those discounted prices are really the actual prices — the manufacturer just marked them up to create the illusion of a deal. Ugh.
PRO: Having the plug for matcha tea, vegan protein powder, essential oils, and/or sweat-wicking apparel
CON: A looming suspicion that she may have unknowingly entered a pyramid scheme
PRO: She gets that sweet 5% cut every time she makes a sale
CON: Realizing that’s like $1.72 a pop and she could amass more wealth by literally scrounging for change in your sofa
OTHER CON: She doesn’t make any sales
PRO: She’s gorgeous
CON: Feeling hopelessly insecure because of the hundreds of subtly sexual comments from her thirsty dude followers
PRO: The upward mobility and financial independence that comes with being her own boss
CON: She somehow loses money
As you can see, a cost-benefit analysis of dating a discount coder yields a romantic gray area. Since this subset of women is a relatively new phenomena, the preliminary research is murky. Slide in at your own risk.